Scott I'm calling you from a lavoratory

This weekend was fun and strange

Friday, the club was getting together for dirnks when unexpectedly the rumor of an informal meeting brought many Weygooks into Byeongjeom. A few in paticular were troublesome, getting drunk, hitting on my bartenders and one man decided to get drunk and belligerent so I listened to him rant about his shotkan black belt and my impending doom at his hands as I poured him in a cab. There was stresses all around, but the evening ended well.

Saturday was a mellow day for me, studying korean and working out with a newly inflated basketball, patiently waiting on Master Kim to score me a pair of escrima sticks. I knew money was going to be tight. I really hate getting paid once per month. But anyway. As I was settling in for a quiet evening. I get a call from Taryn, the title of this blog "Scott I am calling you from a lavoratory in Seoul station" It seemed one of the Americans ran into Taryn and her South African friend and insinuated himself into their plans. This call was for me to meet her and artfully tell the guy to back off. Which I did with my usual charm, tact and finesse. In a voice an octave lower I simply said "See you later." He got the hint. But the funniest line was after he left. Taryn who has been here all of thirty minutes said "Damn Newbies."

Sunday met two needs of mine RPG's and great American food. Barry and I just hung out and it felt good to DM again. I miss the circle of the phoenix madly. Another foreigner I know wants me to turn him into an Escrima death machine. It makes me smile. Sent some of my plays to this lovely little Brit named Maria she likes what she's reading. Sunday ended pulled pork sandwiches, back adjustments and injury comparison. I won ( but barely between the injury sisters of Sam and Tanya ) but it was determined that the American avoidance of healthcare in all but the most dire circumstances comes from it not being socialized.
Taryn insisted that we are not human. But hey I'm a tekkebe ( a ghost ) looking for his magic bat she wasn't too far from the truth. I finished the night with Ed at Nimbus. He and Sam are going to teach me to read this language. Since I speak well for a Noob. I'm mimic more that I speak. I listen and practice.

The week was long and arduous. There weird long stretches of chaos that made some of the insanity seem downright blissful. My back is killing me. I found a line on a precious set of escrima sticks ( thank you Master Kim ) and started working on a swordform based on the writing models of the korean alphabet ( cause you knew it was going to happen ). A few points of interest before haning out with the Weygook variety pack aka the SBDC.
Earlier this week the owner of the Dunkin Donuts near one of my bus stops was having back trouble. His well meaning friend was trying to reallign him which led to yells the Marquis DeSade never dreamed of hearing. I went over and fixed his shoulder. The magic hand is back. I got a free coffee.
I bought a pizza for the girls at Dream, cause they are always starving. They think I am the next incarnation of the Bhuddah.
Teaching body parts right after food leads to comedy. I point to my foot and say English name. And four students yelled "Chicken"
Scarlet doesn't think I am learning Korean fast enough and tries to teach me Korean while I teach her English. But she talks away and even though I understand most of what she's saying. It is funny to watch her get flustered.
But my main issue this week has been the casual racism, I expected it when I came here. Being a foreigner, blonde haired, blue eyed, big. Hell I had some of that in the states and learned to play dumb. But the more standard issue insipid racism I have been encountering disturbs me. One of my students can't believe the US president is African American and he asked with a combination of innocense and ignorance "They aren't supposed to be president's", then later in the week teaching a section on Hanukah I asked my advanced students. What do you know of people of the Jewish faith. One answered. " They have alot of money." Shaking it off I crossed by the Bhuddist temple and saw the swastikas on the temples and think about the perversion of meaning. I am spoiled being from a multicultural society. In some ways I pity them, The Koreans. The cult of Han. The one. I hope that teaching my language at least helps a few see the world differently.

strange days indeed

The first official meeting of the SBDC - Surly Byeonjeon Drinking Club gathered at Nimbus bar on Friday night. The group is a good size, diverse and friendly. It let me feel like I was hanging out with my friends at "No idea" or "Rudy's Tap Room". I brought a cake for the girls there as a gift/bribe before the Foreigners invaded. Then to Mercury where the English just flowed. The night ended at a Norae bong ( a private kareoke room ) where I slaughtered / butchered / tenderized / resurrected / rinse and repeat - perfectly good songs with smile and style. A good time was had by all.

Operation Beard is a go.

Then in the morning made an appearence as a token boyfirend for Tanya. So as to keep her sanity as well as keep her principal from setting her up with every single male korean bachelor. That was a success. Then off to Costco for American products and a sacred bastetball.

Sunday was spent showing Taryn around so as to help her acclimatize. As well helping her with basic survival commodities. I have never seen a person more happy for a bathmat and conditioner. It felt good to be sure no one else went through the first two months of hell that I did. Saw Watchmen, liked it.

Now today back at work and my return to exile and invisibility. Had my health check today and I was feeling dog sick. I don't know if it's the Yellow dust blowing in from the Gobi desert but man strange days indeed.

Suhakhada

Suhak=math / hada=do = do the math

I got a haircut, just cleaning it up. It is high comedy watching me explain how much to cut.

My super Korean English dictionary has been used non stop since I got it. I call it the Mosul chaek " Magic Book" because it has the english word, the korean characters, and the phoenetic. Since my boss thinks a guy with pigeon korean should be able to explain to a class of (marginal english speakers who like kimchi )10 year olds the word "architecture"

One of the boys brought a sword to class. I took that away from him explaining that English, 13 year olds, and swords are an alchemical recipe for disaster. But some of them saw me with my bokken and were amazed the foreigner could do what I do.

One of students Anthony, follows me like a lost puppy ( although this puppy is not on the menu.) He was following me when we ran into the female bartender I know. She is cute as a button. We talked a bit. A random foreigner gave me the thumbs up. It was nothing. But Anthony now wants to play on the American side when I play Migukin vs Hangukin.

My solo classes with Scarlet, a girl I named after Ms. O'Hara from Gone with the Wind after I saw it double billed with a colorized Casablanca on late night Korean TV. Scarlet Is learning well. This kid is adorable. She tries to teach me Korean and took my Korean Name Jhang Goon, and added the Korean word for Lion to it. My hair tie broke so I became Saja Jhang Goon ( Lion General ). All the little girls are funny when teaching the word handsome, I asked "Teacher handsome?" They shrieked and cried "NO!" in unison. This was the same class where one girl jokingly came at her with a pen to stab her. ( Her technique needed work ) and the little one yelled AAAAHH Sarinja ( I'm being murdered ). Louie one of my beest talkers keeps talking baseball with me. Korea has been beating Japan. A little historical revenge.

I took Ed out for drinks and we got to name the entire bar staff, after flowers. He thought it was the coolest thing ever. Hanging out with the local foreigners introducing many to each other. It feels really good to do that. After what I went through my first two months. But I got to be sure to not bring too many foreigners at once, because too many Weygookin may make the place persona non grata.

I still want my magic bat.

addendum - What is your name?I like KimChi

Just a quick side note - I wish soemone would have informed me that writing your name in red. Which is something I did on my first day of classes. Means that you are dead. And I wrote with my left hand no less. So maybe Su Wa was right. I am a ghost. So where's my magic bat dammit.
Within the culture there seems to be a pathological aversion to giving useful information. Grrrr they added another class to my already busy tuesday/thursday shift. I am not liking this.

Q:What is your name....R: I like KimChi

I'm back from a weekend of exploring with my two abductors Sam and Tanya. They kidhapped me last week to Suwon and this week a bit of a tour. First stop Wes' Country Bar. I country bar in Korea. Line dancing pool. And they have both types of music. Country and Western. Good to hear Credence and Skynard. The owner Wes also has some Zydeco to play. I'm going back. Then off the the Crazy Duck where there was the one thing I needed most dancing. I met a fellow Byongjeon resident Taryn who has been here two weeks. So I took her under my wing. The same way Leonine took me under hers. We talked alot. Sam and Tanya have been friends forever and Sam is a great guide. Then off to Seoul for St. Patties day/ White Day. We hit a few markets. I got a much needed electric Razor. We spent the night primarily in two places. The Nashville bar, good place. Good people adn a Shakespeare challenge. American's don't know Shakespeare. So I just went on an iambic rant. And did some of my improvised poetry. We ended the night in Woodstock and had some live music. Bone shattering live music. They also have an open mic night. I may get my performance fix in. I haven't dusted off my Henry 5 or Iago in awhile.
Alot of the conversation was around teaching and Korean culture. The title says it all. When asking students a question the responses can be funny. Also my apologies for the rampant mispellings. I have had limited computer time.
After finally getting my super dictionary. I gave two of my other dictionaries to Ed and Taryn. Leonine said pay it foward. And who am I to question a goddess.
Sunday was the meeting of the Happy Suwon Language club. They meet bi monthly and I made quite of few contacts. Don't really want to go back to the invisibilty I feel at work. I ended the night at Nimbus bar with Ed.
Hana = 1, Ha = speak, Han River, Han geul = Korea, Hangookin = Koreans, Hangerool = Korena language. I see all emerging from the Chrysalis of Oneness. Explaining to me at least alot about the culture I am immersed in.

Magic Bats, Mad Dogs Brekfast and I Don't Speak English

Mad Dog's Brekfast is a colorful piece of Australian slang. It somehow resurfaced from my travels into my life. I feel like a mad dog's brekfast means your not at all well. I've been sick most of this week.
Chin Teh explained to me, that the monster/ ghost Su Wa thought I was. Is from a folktale. I has a magic bat/ stick that creates whatever it wants. Chin Teh's list included - Wine, Cars, Houses Secshi Girls. I want my magic bat, Has become kind of a catch phrase between CHin Teh and I.
So brain dead the last few days. Been making a habit of jaywalking. Fearless of traffic from my war years in New York. My response when the koreans ask. New York-uh, it gets laughs.
Went out with the Kiwi and the New Brit. Went practicing Korean. They both can read Korean. And study different things, like nouns, or verbs. I've been owrking and drilling into my head grammar and perfect phrasing. Phrasing without an accent. I am now the Phrase master, of the Surly Byongjeom Korean Speaking, Drinking and Writing Society.
My Korean comes out at weird times. Heading to work a bunch of women were jaywalking and as traffic came I said Bphali ( means "hurry" ). I like the look as shock. Today at the office. Iris greeted my in English, I responded " I don't speak English" in perfect Korean and she hit the floor. Working on fixing my Computer so I won't be on much this weekend.

short legs, rambo and a korean rule of three

After an exhausting day of classes and an almost full paycheck I went out to celebrate. Finally getting some stuff to make my flat a little more homey, I am also getting new shoes, a basketball, a boken, and I am on a quest for escrima sticks. Found the Koran of Korean/English dictionaries and it's being held for me in Itaewan. So about my strange cultural adventure. I found a little hole in the wall pub close to the flat and went in. Arum the bartender speaks passable english but she and Mira from Nimbus bar correct my pronunciation. Anywho I was sitting alone in the bar a pile of dictionaries and notebooks when two gentlmen enter. One saw me and fell over. Geuss a western giant is kind of shocking. He said "Weygookin" ( foreigner ) so without missing a beat I said in a frightened, paniced voice and looked around "Odeo!"(Where !!) That got them all laughing. The ice was officially broken. The two men, one name translated into Short Legs, and he was short so it made sense. The second man was built like a barrel, He told me his English name was Rambo. I figured best to leave that one alone.


So later in the night between dictionaries. Arum ( English meaning Beautiful ) Taught me the Korean rule of three. When you get complimented.

First Compliment said earnestly

First Reponse Ani Yo ( No )

Second compliment said reassuringly with different phrasing and a little insistence

Second Response Ani Yo ( No ) but said more coyly

Third Compliment, reinforcing the previous two compliments if there was any question of sanity or veracity, and making it completely clear that this compliment was here to stay and an immutable fact of the cosmos.

Third Response Kan Sam Nida ( Thank you ) said graciously

Gotta love culture shock.

thoughts

Well today was better two of my problem students were really well behaved which makes me wonder if they were somehow medicated. Gods I hope so. New poem or two is coming down the pike. I taught a section on Alexander the Great and got to elaborate on the word philosopher. Went on a tangent about Socrates and started to explain Socratic method, Ask the question? Got to explain about Aristotle, Darius, the Greek way of life. It was fun to whip out my ecclectic knowledge once in a while. Still been trying to encourage the kids to speak more. Trying to tell them to not be afraid to make a mistake. Culturally the perfectionism in this society makes that a hard concept.

addendum Itaewan and grrrrrrrrr

I'm planning on going back to Itaewan this coming weeked, and the one thing I forgot to mention. Jehovah's witnesses are just as annoying in Korea as they are in the states.

Long day of classes. The students were out of control. I have little korean to control them. And Soy spoiled them. There has got to be a way to keep an English only policy in my classroom. Like every other Hogwan I've talked to. I believe teaching English in Korean skews the process of learning. I was told students are well behaved here. Just another lie on the list of things for my defense when I throttle my recruiter. I was told I wold have multiple native english speakers at my school, I was told my apartment was walking distance from the school, I was not told I had to call students houses, I was not told about fees being taken out of my first months pay. I believe in information. Information lets people make proper decsions. You can have a lie of omission.

At last Itaewon and tomato

This weekend was a blast,

Friday night I went out with Garf, the Kiwi. We went to a bar with the very rare male bartender. His English is passable. But one of the few phrases he has "I'm not gay." Garf and I spent time talking and i came to a few realizations. I've really focussed on speaking cleary fast and without and accent. Garf doesn't speak as well but has a greater vocabulary and can read Korean. So I been working on that. Not expecting to go out Friday night. i was a little late meeting the Goddess leonine at Suwon. But she took me to Itaewan. Like john Carter walking the dead sea bottoms or Randolph Carter seeking kaddath. Itaewan was more a myth to me. A far off land where I can read the signs, the books, understand the products. And most importantly get pipe tobacco. An entire store broke into laughter when I yelled "CHEESE!" and ran to the dairy aisle.
We met for neopolitan piza with a former student of hers who is an absolute doll named Joao. I can tell she missed talking in Africannes. So I roamed around with her and ended up in an irish pub called wolfhound. There I met a philly guy, and british girl, and another teacher from chicago. And it was Englishfest 2009. I also got to talk theatre for the first time in a long while. It was like coming home.
So I left Itaewan and headed home. Pipe tobacco in hand. Vowing to make this at least on monthly excursion. But when I left the Byeonjom station, I ran into two english teachers from California who took ne back to Suwon. We went to a restaurant and walked through the red light district. The paited ladies selling their trade like dolls underglass. We eventually ended up at the English speaking bar in Suwon. We had a great time.
Sunday I was watching my CHoKu team and learning my korean. I finally recognized the symbols Toh Ma Toh, yes kids the first word I read in korean was actually an English word Tomato. Training is going well and I and weighing my options. I just want to get paid.

coupons and bloodsport

One weird thing about the system in the hogwan is that students get "coupons" basically little papers which I stamp at the end of class. Depending on how good or bad the student is. The precious coupns are then redeemed for pencils, pencilcases, toys etc. One of my students has enough coupons I swear she is saving for a tropical island in the Sea of Japan. But the coupon system has also made the students visciously guard their coupon papers. One day two boys were arguing over coupons and I said. "Okay for 20 coupons, you two fight to the death." You got to get your pleasures where you can.
Amy and Alice are two cute as a button little gremlins that like to steal my tiny basketball, unfortunately for them they always hide it in the same place. It's like having a pair of ferrets with bilingual language skills.
Discovered the myriad pleasures of a dumpling shop near my school. I figure if I can live frugally for two months out of necessity. I can live frugally when I actually have cash. Put some money away for a flight home if worse comes to worse. But I really want to have a nestegg. Looking into the teaching situation in NYC and Phillyfor when I get home. Looking for a book of English poetry translated on the opposing page in korean. If they have it with Shakespeare I'd be in heaven. Itaewan also has something I have been missing. Good pizza.
Today being Freyaday it's pretty easy for me. Hopefully if the gods are kind, I'll have my computer back soon. I like having internet access on the weekends. And an odd story has been kicking around my head. Feels like a cross between Lovecraft, Hammet, Burroughs and Robert E Howard.
All in all things are okay, still worried about the financial situation at the hogwan and waiting for my medical check. Tomorrow Itaewan. Then I plan a trip to the Beopjusa temple, where some scenes were shot for the "Game of Death"
I keep you posted, and soon more poetry.

live english, live steel, live korean

The oral interviews cause the most amount of stress to the students, they look paniced like some linguistic grenade is about to explode at their feet. I am patient and speak slowly. I try to let them find the words. I am empathetic to them. I am doing the same with my Korean. "I listened" like Banderas in the Thirteenth warrior. The training has been going well. But as TJ always said I keep slipping into my style. Just like my language. As much for comfort as necessity. My matches have been good. Been using what Tj and I called "tall people" tricks. Switching more into my largo mano. Keep hitting, hands, wrists, knees and heads. My hands are killing me. Lost weight a little too much and started a regimen to bulk up again.
I also stopped a little korean girl blowing bublles from walking into traffic. Korean drivers are like Jersey drivers. Her mother was thrilled and scared. I just said "It's okay" and walked away into the drizzle and fog.
The cities all have titles, like Happy Suwon or Healthy City Hwaesong, I live in Surly Byongjeom. The weekend is coming up and I gt paid soon so my weekend travel plans are starting to firm up. Also got to save money. I got a few new students. I want to name the girls Linda, Jody, Nancy, Janice and Ginger when I get the chance. Looks like the Circle of the Phoenix and the family will leave their mark here. Been living on kim bhap ( a rice/seaweed roll with a little meat in it for protein ) My own cooking, although the larders are getting bare. I've been reading the books Paul sent me. " Thanks brother " and living on the chocolates my mom sent. Remeber if ever in korea they heat tyhrough the floors so don't put candles on bare floor. They turn into Jackson Pollack paintings. Waiting on my computer to start tje Korean alphabet and to continue with the two stories I was writing. I have been tweaking a bunch of older stuff. Have some new stuff for the blog and desperately want to show off my play "Slaying Dragons" which I've been working on too damn long. Slaying dragons may find it's way into the story.

On Sunday I went to Suwon. Was waiting for Barry and Garf. The Irishman and Kiwi . And while waiting I saw a foreign couple who looked lost. I asked in my considerate way. " Do you need help" and the foreign woman, snappishly yelled " No we have a guide !" So I let it be. But as I was walking away an older Korean Gentleman said to me, with a shrug. " Foreigners." I replied
" yeah, Foreigners." I'm pretty sure he didn't mistake me for a korean.

I went to the fortress at Suwon with a group of foriegners. My interest and love of fortification architecture kept me in rare form. And yes there will soon be pictures. My computer is still sociopathic. This weekend I hope to get to itaewan ( a part of Seoul with a lot of foreigners ) and counteract my policy of days of full blown Korean. We actually stormed a KFC. With a yell of
" Scott it's the Colonel "

Had another great day hanging on Saturday with the Cho Gu team, they have become my living classroom for conversational Korean. Lots of arm wrestling and chest thumping. Typical guy stuff.

Found out that my hogwan has lost thirty students dude to economic stress here in Korea. So that was a bit of a shock. I am waiting to get paid so I can bank money just in case. I also have been getting packages from home.

Culturally I get to give English names to students, so far I have given Nick, Paul, June, Jeff, Brian, Tony, Diane, Kerrie, Dee, Bob, Jenny, and Josh. Also an odd question everyone asks you here is " Hw old are you? " It's actually not out of rudeness they ask. It's how they place you in the heirarchy of famillial and ageist relationships. But as a weygookin, I have no standing in the society.

So I am still waiting to get paid and keep my options open. I also may have to figure out fast and dirty what to do next should my academy fall.

The training is going well. I won my first sword match today. Working on a Korean alphabet, to keep my blade sense sharp. I am also using it as a tool for reading the language. I have a few characters but I want more. And there are rumors that there are a few escrima practioners out there. English teachers who have studied their English in the Phillipines.

I miss my girl. She sent me a valentine that made me cry. Soon the letters go out. Once my computer works and I don't have to use a PC bong or work's computer. They I can flood the blog with what I have been writing .

Be safe.