advice from a friend what NOT to do on an interview

With friends like these - Thanks Paul

1: Do NOT scream “DEATH FIRST!” when asked to submit your resume/credentials/references.

2: Do NOT bring martial arts weapons to interview.

3: Do NOT wear a Flash, Batman, Green Lantern, Captain America, Superman, or any other superhero t-shirt during an interview.

4: Do NOT answer the interviewer’s question “Who are you?” with “I’m Batman.”

5: Do NOT compliment interviewer with “YOU ARE PRETTY!” That never ends well.

5a: Addendum: Do NOT tear off your clothes with the battlecry “SCROG ME WOMAN!”—especially if the interviewer is male.

6: Do NOT reference pop culture, including Monty Python, The Princess Bride, Star Wars, Star Trek, DC and Marvel Comics, Conan, Thundarr, Excalibur, Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, Buffy, Angel, Firefly, etc.

7: Do NOT cut off your finger joints Yakuza-style just to prove a point about your willingness to go the extra distance.

8: Do NOT mention booze, bouncing, barflies, and other alcohol-related shenanigans.

9: Do NOT presume everyone you encounter is a zombie in need of beheading.

10: Do NOT launch into the chorus of “The Jet Song,” “Gee Officer Krupke,” “Bat Out of Hell,”—and of course—“Scott is Evil, Evil is Scott”—at the top of your lungs.